Saturday, April 2, 2016

A to Z Challenge: B



For today, I am posting an acrostic.  I tried an unusual format, with the rhyming words being inside their lines. Not sure if it works. Also, the end words are weak: black, flawed, thoughts, justice, etc.  Also, it's a bit sappy.  That being said, it's a brilliant poem.  LOL.   




Brittania

Between sips of morning brew, my pen
Returns to you.  I fill the white space with black
Ink, or perhaps blue.  I write another acrostic,
Tear it up, begin anew.  These lines are flawed,
This tribute an imperfect re-do, these thoughts     
An awkward déjà vu.  You’re muse and art,
Needle and tattoo.  I… try to do you justice.
I’m still struggling with your voodoo, your magic,
And I wish I knew how to translate it into a poem.

Note: I modified the last line.

12 comments:

  1. This is beautiful. I really like it and a lot of thought went into this.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks.

      I think I've been relying on acrostics a bit too much lately. It's directing but it's also limiting.

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  2. I read the poem and liked it a lot. Had not noticed the title before I read the poem ... the title puts a little spin on it and I still like it :D

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  3. Thanks.

    Yeah - I could have just called her Britt but that would have been too easy.

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  4. That last line, while "sappy" is also both sweet and the epitome of the creator's lament--how to make the art actually show what we want it to.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah. It was written to give it to her,so I might have worried more about message than technical stuff. But 'hug' carries a lot of meaning. It would just be boring to explain it.

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  5. I like it. Sappy or not, it gets the message across. :-)

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  6. Even though you think this is not good, it touched my heart. There is a rhyming to it that makes you want to reach out and discover how to hug.
    Good job.
    Visiting from A to Z Blog Challenge.
    Shalom,
    Patricia @ EverythingMustChange

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  7. good job!
    Best Wishes,
    Annette

    My A2Z: http://nananettie1969.com/a-to-z-challenge-2016
    Follow Me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/nananettie1969

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