Notes

-  He knows he isn't making sense, but he is who he is.
   He knows it doesn't make sense, but it is what it is.
-  It's all pointless, but he can't turn back time.  He can't pretend she didn't happen to him.
-  He never knows what to say; he just knows how he feels.

-  He wishes he could write something that would really impress her.
-  He wishes he could do anything that would impress her.    
-  He's aware it's a one-way street - ending not in a cliff but in something less dramatic - a muddy ravine perhaps.
 

-  something vague about her father / something not good 
-  He wishes her ex hadn't betrayed her, but he can't do anything about it.
-  When he heard about Orlando, he thought of her.  He wished he could wrap his arms around her and protect her from all the bad people in the world.

-  preachers at Earth Fair: lesbians are going to Hell / and he thought: she's so much better than you'll ever be  
-  She promised she would stop smoking, so he nags her about it.
-  He read Rat Bohemia, hoping it would help him understand her better. Not so much though.
-  He waits for her to get her nursing degree.


-  He wishes she would open up more, initiate more, like him more.
-  He wishes he could help her, but she needs help a lot less than he does.
-  He wishes he was stronger, smarter, sexier.  She is.
-  He's a past that never happened; she's a future that needs to happen.
-  He waits for her to leave (him behind).

-  He writes about it in third person - the universal language of indifference.